Thursday, May 24, 2007

What what what...what should we call this?

Not that classes were devoid of fun either...
Let’s start with our favourite subject, MIS of course. Let’s call the prof, Mr. 47, because each session started with a firing of questions at the students like bullets from an AK-47 for about half the session. Howcome all the nuts end up teaching Fin??? You need to have a special talent to confuse the students to such an extent.Let’s revisit the time he conducted a quiz in the class and ran out of question papers with four students left out due to a comic goof-up in printing the papers…He stood, hands on hips (arms akimbo?), lips pursed together, eyes glinting like stony beads and then uttered the immortal line, “What are you doing now??” Well, a joke’s a joke and this one would have been quite funny had it been one, but he really stretched it more than just a bit thin when he turned around and shouted to the class, “Your time starts now”. Help!!!
Another classic was the statement he used to make in every lecture. “You have Textbook , You have polycopy , I know you use Proxy for Webpages, you have shareable folder too. Ithukumela enna venum ( Wht else you want)??? (How about a prof who can teach, for a change???). [Polycopy = a book distributed to the students consisting of a set of articles, cases and problems selected by the prof from an assortment of texts and papers, whether their own or from elsewhere]But perhaps the best example of his intellect, not to mention his hearing, was actually a situation enacted in the other section…


Prof: how many types of Testing are there??
S1: Errr..4?S2: Ummm…three?
That’s when the prof catches one guy who had no clue about the answer. (Just like the rest ;-) )
Student: (mumbling) Sir, err… none
Prof: Right my boy, ONE.
And now, we reach our favourite prof of this term. A person who taught us the not-so-fine points of MIS & Decision Support Systems. This was another mystery really. I mean, how on Earth all this MIS will ever help us at any point in our lives is quite beyond my comprehension, but hey, who gave me a choice???


“What what what what what? You don’t know the formula for ROI? How many of you have brought polycopy? How how how how? (Does this sound like our four-legged friends in full cry?) This, this is there in polycopy…open, open polycopy. I will not write this. It is there, it is there, share, share polycopy if you want. I will not write.”Boy oh boy, was this term going to be tough or what? The subjects and assignments came down on the class like a ton of BRICKS!
Yes, we are talking about the Role of Manager lecture now…and the prof who was better known as IndianExpress! Coz he most definitely was an Express ….and to be classified as an athlete with competitors of the calibre of his colleagues, he really had to be mahaan. He did his very best to make one of the most boring and futile subjects even more boring and futile by giving the most senseless and pointless assignments and an even more ridiculous project than I would expect from a man from my Mars posts!!!


There were also attempts made to change, or rather “enhance” the vocabulary of the students. “I don’t want the English meaning of technology, nor the Engineering one. I just want the meaning of the word to my level of understanding. Now you are managers, you ought to know these things. Arre, you don’t know what technology means? Boy oh boy, that could spell trouble for you my friend…because the next time you don’t read the text-book before attending class, I will come down on you like a ton of BRICKS!!!”


Why does anyone want to go to Agra? Pile on to Lucknow, people. This is where the action is! Rather expensive of course, but true value for money. Term-II somehow was more like Engineering College revisited. Specially in the lectures taken by a particular adjunct faculty. After all, where else would you find 10 people sitting in a class where 35 have been marked present? Of course, they were caught on two occasions, but that was only to be expected perhaps…..can’t expect 5 to proxy for 35. These Compatriots will just never learn to do it right…

(Yeah, the pun is intended again)...
There was also the amazing incident when a certain smartass thought he could sleep bang in front of the prof of the brickyard fame…
Prof: My friend.(No response)
Prof: My FRIend!(Still no response)
Prof: MY FRIEND!
S: (Eyes open now and thanking his stars he woke up just before the prof called on him) Yes sir.
Prof: Do you agree?
S: Yes sir!
Prof: With what?
S: Oops!
This was me in case any of you is wondering and trust me, it did nothing to ease my embarrassment to know that all the prof had done was take the attendance before he walked up to me and enacted this :-( (I prefer calling him a sadist for pulling this fast on me than blame myself for falling for it. I was sleeping damnit!!! So don't you dare laugh at me!!!)…


OK...incident concerning the dwarf who sat next to me:


Me: Dude, pass me the Sportstar...
D7: No. I am gonna read it...
Me: C'mon...you're taking notes. I need something to keep me awake...
D7: No! I don't give it to anyone..
Person X turning around (shall not name ;-) ):
D7, pass me something to read please...
D7: I only have "Sportstar"
X: Cool! Pass it...
D7: ???/...
Me: Ennangada dei..ponnunga ketta mattum kudukaringa ( Lip muscles stretch wider when gals ask anytin )
*Sigh*...the depths people sink to...

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